One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is having a good, healthy self-image. Unfortunately, this has become harder to do with the pervasiveness of retouched images making “corrections” to reality.
Zapping an errant hair or pimple and other minor retouching is one thing, but the body sculpting presented in fashion and “beauty” magazines has created impossible goals for their audiences to achieve. They take already extremely thin and rare models, put them through hours of professional make-up and styling, professional wardrobe, and then lit and photographed by some of the best photographers with the best gear. Finally, using powerful computers and software, then natural curves and structure are hewn as desired.
Women’s magazines are the most guilty of this goal, but men’s magazines aren’t far behind. Both use the same techniques and processes and mentality to instill a reaction and unreal self-perception of “you’re not good enough” or “there is something wrong.” And not in the way which cajoles the reader to aspire to be their best or improve in an appropriate fashion, but to make them down-trodden to the point where they feel the need to purchase, subscribe, or cover themselves up with all the fakery powders and gels can muster.
As a professional photographer, I spend a lot of time — perhaps too much — looking at others, but I also listen closely to what they don’t like about themselves. After a while I’ve realized just how petty and deep these negative self-perceptions run. It is frustrating to me as someone trained to see and [re]create beauty to still have a client hate themselves no matter what or go over themselves with a microscope to find that one wrinkle or curve that doesn’t matter and make a fuss over it.
This is not to say your external appearance doesn’t matter. It does. It is the first thing people have to go on before you open your mouth. But if your internal beauty or confidence doesn’t show through your skin, no amount of Prada or push-ups will save you. I’ve seen size 14’s hotter than size 4’s because of their proper self-image. It’s a total package thing and most people will tell you that.
Good looks will only get you so far. Once the other party gets past it, or gets used to it, and you have nothing substantial to offer then you’re sunk. I’ve known some really attractive people and some of the hottest ones I know are the loneliest and have the lowest self-esteem, even lower than the fattest, ugliest person I know.
To me, it is truly sad to photograph someone and everyone except the subject believes they’re wonderful. At times, you just need to trust those around you.
Here is what I mean in a nutshell, wonderfully presented by Dove: